Memoir: How Hard Can It Be?

Remember how hard it was to cook your first holiday dinner? How about your first bike ride? Or maybe having your first baby? Whew, that was hard!

If this is your first time writing memoir, it is right up there with your other firsts. Don’t be fooled by all that Google stuff that says let the words flow, telling your story will be liberating. Phooey.

If you’ve decided to write your story, some pre-planning is the most important thing to do. Wouldn’t you do some planning if you were cooking your first dinner? Of course, and planning ahead is no less important in your memoir-writing. It will save you a bunch of time and headaches later on. I know. I’ve been there, done that.

It is important not to confuse writing your life history with writing your memoir. They are two very different birds. If your intent is just to leave a record for your family, life history is the way to go. Random stories from your past may be interesting to your loved ones, sometimes. However, publishing those stories is not likely to draw a crowd of readers. Sorry, the truth is painful.

A good memoir might draw readers. To publish a memoir you need a plan before that first word hits the page. Think about a specific period of time in your past, something that rocked your boat, what some call an epiphany moment, and tell your story around this moment. If you are serious about publishing your memoir, you are not writing it for yourself, as many Google hits purport. Publishing means the power and purpose of your memoir is to connect with your intended audience. Once you decide what to write about, decide who that audience is. This will help in leading you to an agent and/or publisher later on if that is your intent.

Okay, now that you have some special images from your past in mind, decide what you want your readers to get out of your memoir. What is the takeaway? If you haven’t already done so, part of your preparation is to read some memoirs. Three of my favorites are The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt, and I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. Each one leaves the reader with a message. Maya Angelou’s message struck me the most, the longing of lonely children. I was reared an only child and I could feel her loneliness as if it were my own. Connection with your audience is key to a saleable memoir.

Now for the writing. Memoir is in the genre of nonfiction, sometimes termed creative nonfiction. To me, creative is the most important word. It does not mean made up, but it does belong to the imaginative world. A list of things that happened to you will not be appealing to a reader for very long unless you’re famous or weird. They may read a page or two, but it soon gets boring. The craft of story-telling must be applied to those memories. Just as in preparing a holiday dinner, cooks may use the same ingredients, but the results can be very different. Your memories are your raw materials; to sell, it’s your job to make them delectable.

The things that can be fact-checked are the important nonfiction parts. Research those areas to be sure your memory is correct. But much like a dream, the memory of your past becomes your past, or your version of it. For your writing to be engaging, use dialogue, obstacles, surprises; play to your audience’s emotions; and most of all, make your message matter. Draw pictures with your words. Use all your senses to feel the conflict. Yes, you need a conflict for a good memoir. In fact, you need all the things that make a good story just like in a novel.

A good memoir can be a combination of stories, but they must have a narrow focus with a theme. Including stories that do not contribute to this message will confuse your reader and dilute your story. That’s why pre-planning is so important. You need that specific moment in mind before you start writing. Then all your stories will move that message forward.

It’s also a good idea to keep your judgment out of your story even though most memoirs are written in first person. You don’t want to come across as negative or bitter to your readers. In order to do this, you must do more showing than telling. For an example, instead of saying your uncle was a lush, have your reader see this by saying the trashcan overflowed with whiskey bottles. Let your audience come to their own conclusions. Your story will be more powerful.

So, you thought writing your memoir would be easy. You could make it easy by leafing through photo albums and rereading your journals and writing whatever comes to mind, but that writing will only be appealing to you. Do the pre-planning, give it all you’ve got, and you’ll get satisfaction from knowing you have done your best. Travel through your past for the greater truth and share it with your audience. You may surprise yourself and come to the knowledge of a new you.