As a Rule

geralt / Pixabay

Who are these pompous pedants who preach what a writer should and should not do? They forbid one to start with a question. But I already did and I’m glad.

And they say don’t begin a sentence with “but” or “and.” But I’m doing both. And I’m even more glad.

As for rules, I break all I can. Constraints only enslave, squelch, and destroy the Muse, whereas defiance frees and creates.

As for mixing tenses, I did so in the past, I’m doing it in the present, and I’ll do likewise in the future.

Some rules are worth keeping, such as that against repetitive redundancy, I never repeat. I repeat: I never repeat.

Another rule I enjoy violating is not to use “utilize” when I can utilize “use.” I utilize paradox, but never contradict myself. Always.

I wonder about innumerable words struggling hacks have thrown away throughout the ages. Some critics and publishers may have found them golden. Authors fearful of breaking rules force many treasures to wallow in nonexistence, waiting to pop into print, should rules change.

geralt / Pixabay

Lost words are sad, but most tragic is to ignore the taboo I fear most, the one against boring the audience. I don’t know when my writing is bad, because I can’t write stuff good enough to compare it against. And if my critics fail to tell me how tedious my writing is, that’s because they fall asleep before they notice. They need a rule to stay awake to face the boredom. And to scold the author with more rules.


What do others say about rules? Check out The Rules of Writing According to 20 Famous Writers.

Follow Donald Rosenberg:
The combination of deep philosophy, bizarre whimsy, and ironic humor of Donald Rosenberg's writing tone reflects his anti-conformity and nontraditional life experience. Born in Boston, Massachusetts in 1935 where he dropped out of school when sixteen, he resumed an academic career at age forty-nine to earn four degrees including the University of Florida Ph.D. in Spanish Literature in 2005 at the age of seventy. Now eighty-three, he is still "trapped" in his life-long restaurant occupation by which he labels himself "Doctor Waiter." His past nomadic drifting through forty-nine states further enhances the vast material that fuels his literary ambitions.
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6 Responses

  1. Wally Saunders
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    Long live the 83 year olds with creative ambitions! Life begins at 83! Thank you, Doctor Wordsmith! What an inspiration you are, Donald, for all of us wrinkled wordsmiths and senior scribblers who can claim 1935 as the year of our birth. I love this!

    Wally Saunders
    Gainesville

  2. Cassie Selleck
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    As a lifelong breaker of rules, I applaud your philosophy. And your blog post. See what I did there?

    Cassie Dandridge Selleck

  3. Patsy Murray
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    Yep. I like breaking rules too. Because I want my writing to be like talking. Love what you said and how you said it, Donald!

  4. Ransford C Pyle
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    with all those infinitives, you could have tried to at least split one of them.

  5. Bonnie T. Ogle
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    A fun read! I can’t wait to learn all the rules so I can legitimately break them.

  6. Brant O. Greene
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    Very nice Uncle D. Thanks for sharing.