If you’re a writer, you’ve had this experience: You get an e-mail from a journal or publisher you really, really thought was just the right match for your work. With trembling fingers, you click the message open – and find something that reads like this:
“Dear Felicia, Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, because of the extremely large number of excellent submissions we receive every month, we cannot take your work. We wish you luck with your future endeavors.”
Yeah, I bet you do, you think. Then you pour yourself a glass of Chardonnay and wallow in self-pity the rest of the day.
After experiencing this more times than I care to count, I’ve found more constructive ways to handle this. So to protect the sanity of writers everywhere, I present my secrets to surviving those oh-so-fun rejections:
Get back in the saddle.
It’s always a good idea to have several potential venues in mind for your pieces. Whenever I get bumped from one venue, I immediately send my masterwork to the next venue on my list. (I also find this a great strategy in my day job. If that big contract fails to come through, I move on to my next prospect.) This makes me feel productive and restores at least part of my shattered ego.
Remember that persistence pays.
The publishing world is tough for everyone. J.K. Rowling suffered through dozens of rejections before finding a publisher willing to take a chance on Harry Potter. Had she not had the sheer persistence to keep submitting despite all these rejections, a whole generation of young and young-at-heart readers would have never discovered the pleasures of reading and the wonderful world she created. As WAG
co-founder
Wendy Thornton once said, “Every rejection
beings
you closer to that acceptance.” Remember this as you keep on slogging, and also keep in mind Winston Churchill’s wise words: “When you’re going through hell, keep going.
Get over your fear of rejection.
From my experience in two WAG critique pods and various other writing groups and classes, I’ve seen that the fear of rejection is the factor most responsible for writer paralysis. Writers don’t write because they’re afraid no one will like what they say. They don’t submit because they’re afraid of being turned down. So you write something and everyone in your pod hates it? You submit something and get that dreaded rejection note? SO WHAT? It’s not as if they stole your ATM code or gave you Ebola. You’re still alive and privileged with the skill and time to write.
Granted, nobody likes rejection, and the fear of rejection is nearly universal. However, you can take control of this fear. In a recent TED talk, Jia Jiang described how he got over his fear of rejection – by deliberately trying to get rejected every day for 100 days. And if you’d like to try a writer-specific version of rejection therapy yourself, check out The Stoneslide Corrective’s Personalized Rejection Generator – it’s guaranteed, in their words, to make “real rejection … no more stinging than a glass of lemonade.” (And while you’re on their website, check out their short fiction – it’s a delightful read.)
Move your game to the next level.
Keep submitting, but also keep working on ways to improve your odds. If applicable (and if you qualify), join a genre-specific writing community (I belong to the Horror Writers Association; analogous organizations exist for romance, speculative fiction, and Christian writers, among others). Such organizations offer support, resources such as lists of markets, and information on both the craft and business of writing. Also, think about and work on any recurring issues or problems in your writing brought up by reviewers or fellow pod members – don’t think of these as insults, but as opportunities to move to the next level.
Keep the faith.
Yes, it’s hard to keep going when the odds are against you. But it’s even harder if you feel like throwing yourself off a cliff. You’ll only keep going if you believe it’s worthwhile, and you’ll only think it’s worthwhile if you choose to stay optimistic about your chances. Part of you may think this is dumb and delusional – but at the very least, it will make it easier for you to keep sending those submissions and make you feel less stressed and miserable as you move through your day.
So, keep writing, and keep going – it’s worth it!
Connie Morrison
Yes, Felicia, your words are so true. Writers have to be sensitive to write and insensitive to rejection, polar extremes and difficult to achieve. Thanks for sharing your insights. The Ted Talk was interesting. I don’t think I’d have a problem with that one :).
Robin Ingle
Felicia, thanks so much for this post. We all deal with rejection (or, at the very least, the fear of rejection). I love your positive approach!